dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
