Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
