yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yo dont text me then not text me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
