1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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