when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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