Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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