You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
