So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
