I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
