Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
