I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
