dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
