I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
