Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
