I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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