Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
