when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
