i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
