Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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