So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
