i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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