I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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