My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
