The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Panties = found
Randomize
