shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
