this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
