i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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