"it" just moved
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
