i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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