Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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