I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
