Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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