he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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