I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
