I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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