we're blogging at a bar
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just googled if crying burns calories
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
