hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
