i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
