we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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