I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
