The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
