Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Buhtt sex?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
