it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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