so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
