i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
