Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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