We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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