i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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