He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
