I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
