I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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